Shiver
by MaryRussellgrl
Summary: Wedded bliss is not always in the cards. Sara and Grissom go through life changing events and then loss. Everytime growing stronger together. It takes an understanding and patient man to help Sara through the drama.


I felt a shiver go through me as I walked with Grissom to the deserted warehouse. I was called in on my night off and just as my fever had spiked. Grissom walked along side of me looking at me as we walked taking note of the sweat beads on my face even though it was chilly out. He took in my paleness and dull eyes.

Brass walked over to us before we made it to the doorway.

"There are ten bodies inside. I am thinking mass suicide." He said

"Cult?" Grissom asked

"Could be." He said, looking at me "Sara, you okay?"

"Yeah." I said, swallowing.

Grissom watched me go past them to the door seeing the bodies in clothes lying on their backs over mats. Grissom came in with Brass looking at them. I took a breath swallowing again.

"Sara, if you're going to be sick go outside." Grissom said, beside me. I closed my eyes feeling his eyes bore into me.

"I think I will step outside for air." I said, dropping my field kit as I turned walking out.

I leaned against the building feeling terrible. Some cops walked past me talking as I saw Doctor Robbins and his crew go inside. Grissom came out walking over to me.

"I called Nick and Greg in to help. Why don't you go home?"

"I can help."

"Sara, you're sick. You need to go home."

I took a breath to weak to argue.

"All right."

He touched my arm then reached up touching my head.

"Your fever is high. Go home get under the covers and I will be home to check on you later."

"Some honeymoon." I said, watching him smile.

"It's certainly memorable."

"Grissom?" Nick called, as he and Greg stood by the door with their kits.

"Go home." He said, before walking over to the guys.

I walked to the black Tahoe that I drove to the scene. Once inside I laid my head on the steering wheel closing my eyes. The door opened and Grissom looked at me.

"I'll take you home."

I didn't argue as I moved over into the passenger side letting him sit down starting the car. I slept the entire way home vaguely aware that Grissom had opened the door and picked me up carrying me to the house.

He set me in the bed in our bedroom down the hall turning on the light looking at me. I moved my glistening head to the side swallowing feeling his hand on my forehead.

"Sara, you need to change your clothes."

"Do I have to?" I asked, weakly.

"You'd be more comfortable. I'll get some juice and crackers."

"Aspirin." I said, as I got up slowly taking off my clothes as he went out going to the kitchen. When he came back I had changed and was now under the blankets. He set the juice, and crackers on the table next to the bed then he sat down lifting my head as the aspirin was put into my mouth. I drank some before laying my head back down closing my eyes.

"Honey, I have to go back to the scene."

"Go, I'll be fine."

He leaned over kissing my head then he walked out. My phone woke me as it rang continually I held my head reaching for it on the table.

"Sidle." I said, quietly.

"Hello dear, how are you feeling?" Grissom asked, as he walked to trace.

"My head is killing me and I think I can see three of everything."

"Well I should be home soon. Stay in bed."

I hung up sighing putting the phone back on the table as I laid back trying to block out the headache. Grissom came in sorting the mail throwing it on the kitchen counter. He walked in to the bedroom not seeing me.

"Sara?" He called, as he walked over to the bathroom door "Sara?"

He heard me throwing up inside. I gripped the toilet as I felt the convulsions as I dry heaved hearing him knock.

"Honey?" He called, knocking.

"Gil, can you help me?" I asked

He tried the door opening it looking at me leaning against the wall sweating looking up at him. He flushed the toilet and then knelt down to help me up. I weakly moved putting my head against his chest.

"I feel like I am on a merry go round." I said

"Let's get you back in bed." He said, picking me up again. I laid back against the cushions moving to my side. He touched my back moving to lie down beside me.

I took his hand in my warm one holding it.

"I love you Gil."

"I love you." He said, kissing my head.

We went to sleep holding one another. When Grissom woke alone. He smelled coffee seeing it was two thirty in the afternoon. He got up putting his hand through his hair walking out seeing me dressed in work clothes sipping coffee in a mug in the living room.

"Hey." He said

"Hey." I said, watching him walk over kissing me then he reached up touching my head.

"Sara, I don't think you should work."

"Didn't we agree you would not play the over protective husband at work?" I asked

"Yes, but as you can see we are at home and I am your husband. You don't feel hot, but I would feel better if you rest."

"Grissom, we have work to do; besides you know we are shorthanded since Catherine went out of town."

"All right."

Nick and Greg watched me walk into the morgue in an apron like they wore as Doctor Robbin's explained the cause of death. I looked at the woman's bodies in a row uncovered at the feet and chest. Noticing the strange tattoo on the feet on all of the bodies.

"What is this tattoo?" I asked, as I looked at the part moon then below was a sun.

"Possibly a sign of the cult. If it was a cult where is the leader?" Nick asked

"How are you feeling, Sara?" Greg asked, as we walked down the hall together.

"Better. We need to find the leader of this cult." I said

"Well from what we learned at the scene the cults name in the moon over the sun." Nick said, behind me.

"Let's look it up." Greg said

Grissom came into the dark computer room that I sat in alone after hours. He walked over seeing that I had arm on the table with my head lying against it sleeping. A coffee cup next to me sat empty as the computer had a web page up on the screen with the cult that we were investigating. He read some of the page then he put his hands on my shoulders rubbing them. I moved my head sighing as he continued to rub my flesh.

"Time to go home." He said

"I have to research." I said, picking my head up to look at the screen.

"You're exhausted and I am hungry. Let's go home." He said, kissing my head.

"All right."

Grissom got into bed beside me lying down feeling me move putting my head on his chest and my arm over his stomach.

"This was a long night." I mumbled, against him.

He didn't answer as he looked up at the ceiling thinking.

Ecklie walked over to the lab where Nick, Greg and I were. He watched us talk while we worked until Nick noticed him.

"Hey, Ecklie."

"Hi Nick. Sara I need to speak to you."

I looked at the guys then walked out with Ecklie to his office.

"What's up?" I asked, as he closed the door.

"What's up is that I need to find a woman to do a sting for a night." He said, sitting at his desk "Interested?"

"Shouldn't you speak to Grissom about this first?"

"Are you interested?"

I looked at him knowing that Grissom would not be happy about this.

"What would I have to do?"

Grissom walked down the hall seeing Ecklie and I coming out of his office. He stopped watching us talk then Ecklie turned seeing him.

"Gil, come in a second."

Grissom walked over looking at me standing at the door then follow him inside. I shut the door standing behind Grissom.

"Sara has agreed to do a sting operation." Ecklie said, as he took a seat at his desk.

"What?" Grissom said, spinning around to look at me.

"She will be going to the park and try to lure out a man that has been kidnapping women tonight. Sara fit's the victims height "

Grissom looked back at Ecklie.

"I will not let you use Sara for this."

"Not your decision."

"Conrad, I have been involved with many stings and in my experience it always goes wrong."

"We will be watching from all directions."

Grissom took me by the arm leading me silently to his office. He shut the door looking at me.

"I want to do it."

"Sara, do you remember the last sting you went on with that guy?"

"Nothing happened?"

"What if something had? What if we hadn't gotten there in time?" He asked, walking over to me.

Ecklie opened the door looking at us.

"Ready."

I nodded walking past Grissom with one last look I left him. He sighed looking down worried. Grissom walked over to the vans and police cars for the sting operation a short walk away from the park. He saw me dressed in a black short skirt, red shirt and a black coat. I saw him walking over.

"How do I look?" I asked, modeling for him.

"Sara, you don't have to do this." He said, letting his eyes go down my slim body.

"I want to. These women should be able to walk at night without worrying about a man in the bushes."

He watched me leave him to go with Ecklie. The group set up positions in different areas along the park. I walked slowly down the path taking my time. Grissom stayed next to Ecklie in the van nearby watching.

A man came up behind me walking ahead quickly. I watched him go around a turn in the path. Walking around the turn, I did not see him anymore. My heart beat faster feeling the rising fear of being jumped from behind inside me.

"Conrad?" Grissom said, looking at the screen seeing the man hiding behind tree.

I walked on whistling looking behind me then going forward. When I went past the tree I heard a noise behind me. Turning it was to late as I felt a knife at my throat.

"You smell nice." He said, licking my neck.

Grissom and Ecklie jumped out of the van running towards the park as the police came out surrounding us.

"Put down the knife, Jenkins!" Brass yelled, from behind.

Jenkins looked at everyone around with guns dropping the knife as he put his hands up. I ran through the cops to Grissom who held me looking at Jenkins as he was cuffed.

"Are you all right?" Grissom asked me, as I raised my head.

"Yeah." I said

Jenkins walked past us as Ecklie walked over to Grissom and I.

"Thank's."

He walked on past as Grissom put his arm around my waist leading me away. Later we slept on the couch in the living room. I woke against him smelling his scent. He moved becoming still as his arms tightened around me.

Gently, I kissed his smooth skin on his chest where is shirt opened. He moved his head kissing mine.

"I can't move. Can we call in and say we are sick?"

"Your forgetting that I am the boss and also that as far as anyone is concerned we are not married." He said, opening his eyes looking around.

"I am sure that you can pull some strings."

He kissed me gently moving back.

"No, we have to go."

Grissom walked down the hall that evening seeing Sophia and I walking towards him talking. He stopped us in our tracks holding out a paper.

"Sara, I am taking you off the case with Nick and Greg. I need you, Sophia and I to go to this address. Apparently an entire family was killed."

I looked at Sophia then I nodded. We drove up to the house parking behind some police cars. We heard come cops vomiting in the bushes when they came out of the house.

"Cops vomiting. Never a good sign." I said, as we walked on.

Detective Vega came out looking green.

"It's a mess in there."

"How many bodies?" Sophia asked

"Five in total. Father in the kitchen and the others in their bed's upstairs." He said, trying not to throw up.

Grissom walked in looking around seeing blood everywhere. We put on booties walking through the house we took photos looking for evidence. I noticed the back door was broken. Sophia and Grissom went up the stairs seeing the horrible mess upstairs. I went outside looking at the ground finding a bloodied knife in the bushes.

Grissom came out finding me walking around with my flashlight pointing to the ground around my open field kit.

"Well what do you think?" He asked, as he stood on the porch.

I stopped looking at him.

"Murder came through the back door. The father was getting something from the kitchen and is killed."

"There is a mess up in the master bedroom so whoever it was they were looking for something."

"Why kill everyone?" I asked, walking over to him.

"Kill all the witnesses. They cared for the children covering them up." He said "Let's go."

He looked back at Sophia as she talked on her phone as he drove. I looked at him as he looked at me. Sophia hung up sighing.

"That was Ecklie. He has been asking me every night to go back to the police."

"Did you tell him you have a perfectly good job at CSI?" Grissom asked

"I tell him every time, he just won't quit. I miss the guys, but I like doing what I am doing now."

"I'll talk to him."

She silently nodded looking out the window.

He watched me come into his office and collapse on his couch.

"I have been staring at the same piece of hair for hours." I said

"You only have an hour left." He said, as he jotted down something on a paper at his desk.

"I hate this part of a case. You find nothing until it hits you."

"Put the hair away and work on something else."

"Gris, don't send me back there yet."

He shook his head looking down at a paper.

"Your evaluation is coming up."

"Right now I don't care." I said, getting up.

"I am just stating a fact."

"Do I need to suck up to the boss?" I asked, leaning over the desk.

"No, you need to solve that case."

"Right." I said, going.

I groaned on the couch later as Grissom and I watched the news after work. Grissom looked at me as I rubbed my stomach groaning again.

"What's wrong?"

"I think I ate something bad. My stomach feels upset." I said, getting up going to the bathroom. I came back in looking at him. "I think I am going to bed."

"I'll be in soon."

I laid down still feeling sick. I came to work feeling better. Sophia and I worked in the lab as Grissom came in. He looked at what I was working on then snapped some gloves on going over to Sophia. As they talked I swallowed wavering some.

"Sophia that spray is getting to me." I said, putting my gloved hands on the table holding myself up.

"I didn't spray anything yet." Sophia said

Grissom walked over looking at me.

"Sara, are you okay?"

"I don't know. I just felt dizzy." I said, shaking my head.

His hand went to my arm.

"Why don't you go outside and get some air?"

"I think I am okay."

"Sara, go just for a moment." He said, in my ear.

I sighed nodding walking to the door. I stopped grabbing the doorway falling to the ground. Grissom and Sophia ran over calling my name. I moved later hearing a beeping. I knew without opening my eyes I was in a hospital. I opened my eyes seeing Grissom's blue ones looking down at me.

"Hey." I said, gently.

"The doctor said you will be fine."

"I didn't mean to skip breakfast."

"He said you are going to have a baby."

I sat up some looking at him.

"A baby?"

He nodded looking at me. I laid back down in shock. We got home the next day and Grissom made me rest on the couch as he made me something. He came back with a sandwich on a plate and a glass of milk sitting down on the couch. I leaned back against him eating slowly.

"Grissom, we never discussed this, but do you even want children?"

"I never thought about it?"

"I did. I never wanted any, because of my family history. Children scare me."

"Sara, you're stressing over this. You don't need to stress. I am in this as well and I am going to think of it as a science experiment."

"This experiment will only last nine months then what?"

"Don't worry. You could become the best mother in history." He said, kissing my head.

I sighed looking down at my sandwich on the plate.

Two months went by as my stomach changed and the baby bump started to show. No one asked me questions nor did anyone want to. I walked into the lounge looking in the mini fridge for something to eat. Nick walked in with a bag of food setting it on the table. He sat down opening the bag. I walked over to him.

"What is that?"

"I went to this new place that has these massive hamburgers." He said, taking two out. He opened one showing me. "Want some?"

I looked at the meat in between the bread.

"I forgot you're a vegetarian."

"I'll have some." I said, sitting down.

He cut the burger in half giving me some. I took a bite nodding to Nick. Grissom walked in seeing us eating. He got some coffee walking over.

"Sara, are you eating meat?" He asked

"Mmhmm." I said, eating another bite.

He walked away shaking his head leaving. I walked into his office seeing him standing by the desk. I closed the door walking over to him putting my arms around his middle.

"Guess who?"

"Amelia Earhart."

"Cheater."

He smiled looking at a paper.

"Coming home?"

"In a bit."

"I won't wait up."

He set the paper down turning around to face me. He kissed me slowly moving back to touch my belly.

"I can't believe what I put in my mouth today."

"Cravings."

"When will they go away?"

"Not for a while."

I kissed him again then I walked over to the door. Grissom got home coming in quietly seeing me in our bed tangled in the sheets. He changed getting in the bed feeling me move towards him. I put my head against his gray shirt smelling it deeply.

"What are you doing?" He asked

"I just woke up wanting to smell you." I said, smelling him again.

He smoothed my hair as I moved my face to his neck.

"Another craving." He said

He felt me sit up looking down at him.

"Do we still have ice cream?"

"It's in the freezer."

I quickly got out of bed going to the kitchen. Grissom got up walking out seeing me put ketchup in the ice cream eating it with a big spoon. He sat on a stool holding his head up with his hand watching me pace the kitchen eating.

"I don't know if I am going to survive this." He said

"Me neither." I said

Two more months and there was no going back. My clothes didn't fit and the cravings got worse. Greg came into the office looking at Grissom.

"Greg?"

"You have to do something about Sara."

"What would you like me to do?" He asked, as he walked to a shelf getting an evidence bug jar with a black beetle inside.

"She is eating everything in sight and she is very emotional."

"Well she is eating for two, Greg."

He sighed walking out in defeat. Grissom put the jar down on the desk picking up his cell phone dialing. I looked at my phone as I ate an apple in the lounge.

"Hey?" I said

"Can you come into the office a minute?"

"Sure."

I walked into his office seeing him standing leaning against his desk waiting for me.

"What's up?"

"Close the door."

I closed it walking over to him.

"You are driving your coworkers crazy, dear."

"I know."

He reached for my hand taking it in his pulling me to him.

"I understand you are trying to feed yourself and our child, but can you take it easy?"

I smiled nodding.

"I swallowed a beach ball."

He smiled touching my belly.

"I know you don't want to know the sex, but maybe we should."

"I think not knowing is better." Grissom said

He put his hand on my face smoothing the smooth skin on my face. I let him go backing up.

"Where are you going?" He asked, coming towards me.

"I have to work."

"Work?" He asked

"Your going to get me in trouble with my boss." I said, trying to push him away from me.

"I just want to kiss you goodbye."

"Okay." I said, pointing to my cheek.

He made me face forward leaning in to kiss me. I kissed him not wanting to leave, but my bladder and the case called me away. I let him go as I quickly opened the door leaving him.

Ecklie ordered me to take part in a crime scene as my six month opened its doors. Grissom was livid and told Ecklie that I should be out doing these things so far along, but Ecklie overruled him demanding I go since we were shorthanded. Grissom slammed his car door as I got out shutting the door. He walked over to me.

"Your not to do anything strenuous."

"I won't." I said

He nodded getting our field kits going past me to the hotel on the strip. Brass walked over to meet us on the curb.

"Shot's fired in the hotel. There is a body in the lobby."

We started to go in when someone started shooting for real outside. Grissom pulled me down on the ground as Brass pulled out his gun looking around. I felt a pain in my stomach as Grissom held me firm. The shooting seemed to go on forever. Brass was shouting into his phone as he stayed near us hearing his men shouting as well.

The shooting stopped as quickly as it started. Brass stood looking around glancing at us.

"Stay there." He ordered, walking over to his men.

I gasped making Grissom notice.

"Sara, what's wrong?" He asked, getting up some to turn me over looking at my face.

"It hurts." I gasped, as I put my hands over my belly.

"Okay, just hold tight." He said, grabbing his phone. Brass came over kneeling down to us.

"What's wrong?"

"I don't know she is in pain." Grissom said, waiting for someone to pick up.

"Sara, take deep breaths." Brass said

I nodded doing so hearing Grissom talking into his phone to 911. I felt a sharp pain and I cried out.

Grissom hung up touching my stomach.

"Sara, is there anyone we should call?" Brass asked

"The only person to call would be me, Jim." Grissom said, looking at his friend.

Brass nodded looking back at me.

"Gris, what if the baby dies?" I asked, scared.

"Don't think about that."

The ambulance arrived taking me to the hospital with Grissom. He waited out in the waiting room for an hour. Catherine and the others came in looking worried.

"Any word?" Catherine asked

"No."

"I hope she's all right." Greg said

"We all do." Nick said, putting his hand on Greg's back.

The doctor came out seeing them. He walked over to Grissom.

"Mr. Grissom, can we talk?"

"Yes." Grissom said

He walked away from the other's sitting next to the doctor on some seats in the hallway.

"Mr. Grissom, I am afraid we could not save your baby."

Grissom sighed looking down.

"Something's wrong." Greg said, watching them.

Catherine walked over to Grissom as the doctor left. She sat beside him looking at him.

"Is Sara all right?"

"Yes, the baby didn't make it."

"Oh, does she know yet?"

"No."

Catherine sighed looking down.

"Your close to her. You should call the father." She said

"Catherine, I am the father." He said, looking at her.

"Gil?"

"Sara and I married last year."

"I knew something was going on. I am sorry."

"Thank's. I suppose I should go in and talk to her."

"Only you can."

He nodded walking past her down the hall to my room. He entered seeing that I was very pale lying in bed sleeping. He walked over taking my hand in his leaning over kissing my head.

"Gil?" I called out, moving my head.

"It's me. How are you feeling?"

"The pain is gone." I said, not opening my eyes.

"Good." He said, kissing my nose.

"How's the baby?" I asked, opening my eyes looking at him.

"Honey, the doctor said that the baby didn't make it."

I didn't do anything as I stared at him. He rubbed my hand looking at me waiting for me to cry or scream. Instead I laid back in the pillows letting it sink in.

"I know there is nothing I can say right now to make it better for you, but we can have others."

I moved my head to the side looking at the wall. He sighed letting go of my hand.

"I'll go tell the other's your all right."

"No." I said "Will you stay and hold me?"

He nodded climbing in bed holding me to him. I didn't talk as he smoothed my hair.

"I love you, Sara. I will never be disappointed in you."

"I am disappointed in me."

"You have no reason to be."

"I finally understand how women feel when they lose something. There is a sadness that you feel."

"I feel it to."

I sighed lying against his chest thinking. After a few days in the hospital I was allowed to come home. Grissom ordered me to rest even though I felt fine and wanted to work.

Catherine knocked on Grissom's door later the next week as he was getting ready to leave for the night.

"How's Sara?" She asked

"She is driving me crazy. She wants to come back, but I keep saying no."

"Why?"

"She has not even cried. She keeps things bottled up and I am worried that she will let work take her over."

"Gil, you know Sara. She has always done that. Trust me when she wants to open up she will. Just let her come back and work."

Grissom came home shutting the door he turned only to be pounced by me. I kissed him slowly hearing him drop his briefcase to put his arms around my waist.

I moved back looking at him.

"You can come to work tomorrow."

"Really?"

"Yes, but I want you to talk to me if you have any problems."

"I will." I said, kissing him again.

I came back with Grissom watching me like a hawk. He put me on call as everyone was out on the night's cases. I sat in front of a computer in the lab when he came in seeing I was looking at missing persons in the area.

"What are you doing?"

"Nothing." I said, facing him.

"Sophia needs help going over a bus in the garage."

"Okay." I said, standing.

He didn't move as he looked at me.

"You okay?"

"Yeah."

He nodded leaving. I went into the garage seeing a large black bus in the garage. Sophia was inside at the driver's seat spraying it with luminal.

"Hey." I said, coming on board with gloves.

"Hey." She said, looking at me.

"Where do you need me?"

"Well right now in the back."

"What are we looking for?"

"Anything and everything. This bus was found in the middle of nowhere. I called the bus company and last night it was full of passengers and one driver. They all vanished."

"Weird."

"Yeah."

I made my way back looking at every seat seeing magazines, cards and a radio with ear phones. I dusted for prints then checked for blood. I looked under a seat finding a little doll that a child had. Lifting it up, I looked at it sitting back in the isle.

"Find something?" Sophia asked, as she walked down the aisle.

"No, just a doll."

She watched me place it on the seat then move to the other side. Grissom came into the locker room to get his things when he heard a noise. Slowly he walked back towards the back wall turning the corner to enter the shower room. I sat in the last stall crying not hearing him walk over. He knelt down touching my knee looking at me in concern.

"Sara."

"I…just need a minute." I said, holding my head as I cried.

"Honey, what's wrong?"

I shook my head sobbing. He moved beside me pulling me to him. I laid my head against his chest.

"Ssh." He said

"Just…hold me."

He looked at the wall holding me against him.

"I love you." He said, gently.

Nick walked over to where we were sitting minutes later. He stopped seeing us on the floor of the shower stall.

"Gris, everything all right?"

"Yeah."

"Okay." He said, looking at me sniffing against Grissom's chest.

Grissom watched him walk back to where he came from.

"Why don't we go back to my office and you can lie down."

I nodded letting him go to stand up. Nick watched us walk by him as he got his things out of his locker. He took me to his office locking the door and shutting the light off. I laid on his couch feeling him lie down beside me smoothing my hair.

"I saw a doll on that bus and I think that set me off." I said

"Sara, you need more time."

"No. I am okay. I just had to cry."

"It's okay if your not." He said, kissing my head.

"You've been so patient with me."

"I just want you to be happy again."

"I am when your around." I said, putting my head against his chest.

"I am not going anywhere."

I lifted my head looking at his face in the dimly lit room. He moved kissing me putting his arms around me. He moved to his side strengthening the kiss. I broke the kiss breathing fast as he did.

"I can't." I said

"Why…not?"

"I don't know. I just feel off."

"All right." He said, controlling his breathing putting his head down on the pillow looking at me. I looked at him sighing in contentment.

I laid in bed later staring at our dresser as Grissom slept next to me. My mind went over things that I could not let go of. Deciding to go for a run I slipped out of bed dressing. I ran for miles clearing my head. When I came back Grissom was up watching me come in.

"I woke up and you were gone." He said

"I went for a run." I said, going past him to get some juice out of the fridge.

"Next time wake me and let me know."

"I will."

He sighed watching me pour the juice in a glass.

"Did you enjoy it?"

"Yes, I have not done it in a while. I needed to clear my head."

"About what?"

I sipped my juice shaking my head.

"All kinds of things."

"Want to talk?"

"No, I'm fine." I said, walking past him to the bedroom.

When I came out of the bathroom he was standing still in his pajamas waiting for me. I smiled at him going to the closet across the room. He walked over moving my hair to kiss my back and neck. I closed my eyes leaning back against him.

"We have to get ready."

"We have some time." He said, as he kissed the tender parts of my skin.

"I can't."

"It's been a month."

"I really can't." I said

He turned me around searching my face.

"Sara, what is going on?"

"Nothing."

"No, something is."

"Look, I need to get dressed."

"You are not dressing until we talk."

I looked down as he rubbed my arms.

"I just can't right now. I would think you would understand that."

"Are you afraid that you might become pregnant again?"

"Gris, just drop it!" I yelled, moving from him.

"Sara, we need to talk about this."

I stood with my back to him looking at a sweater I pulled out of the closet in my hands. He watched me pick at it next to the bed.

"Honey please, I am just trying to help."

"If I did and I got pregnant again, I don't think I would want it."

He walked over sitting down looking at me.

"Do you want to go back on birth control?"

"I can't talk about this with you."

"I am your husband, Sara. You can talk to me."

"Then yes I would go back on birth control."

"Then go back on it."

"What about you? Wouldn't you regret not having children?" I asked, dropping the sweater on the bed. He took my hand pulling me over to him.

"The only thing I would ever regret is that you and I cannot communicate and heal our wounds. If you want to do this then I will support you in any way I can. Who knows what the future holds for us. You may decide that you want some kids later."

"I can't believe how lucky I am." I said, leaning over him as I kissed him. He laid back on the bed dragging me down with him. I giggled as he took my towel off my body.

I worked with Sophia at the lab searching for answers of why an entire bus load of people would just disappear. Brass called us out to the spot they found the bus.

"You have to see this?" He said, as he walked down a path leading away from the road. I looked around as we followed him. He stopped in the middle of the sparse grassy landscape. He leaned down taking hold of a metal door pulling it up.

"What is this?" Sophia asked, she asked as she clicked on a flashlight.

"You wouldn't believe that you could be walking in the middle of the desert and not realize what is under your feet."

Sophia shook her head stepping down into the dark hole. I followed then Brass and some officers. The air was stale. We could hear a fan.

"It's like a bomb shelter." She said

"It is." Brass said

He went ahead holding his gun as he walked down towards some more stairs. We all went down more and more stairs till we hit the bottom. The sound of water dripping was the only sound besides the fan. We said a large door as we arrived on the bottom floor. Brass took hold of the door trying to open it. When it finally opened we looked inside seeing people huddled in a group next to the wall scared. Women held their children against them as then men stood shielding them.

"Take it easy, I am Captain Jim Brass of the Las Vegas Police. We are here to help you."

They looked at each other then at us.

"They said they would come back to us." One of the men said

"Who?" Brass asked

"The men with guns." A woman said "They put us down here and said they would return."

I looked at Sophia then Brass.

They all went up the stairs one by one looking around as they hit the fresh air. I stood by the entrance watching them all come out as Brass and Sophia talked to the bus driver. Sophia walked over to me.

"A bus is coming to pick them up and checking them into a hotel. Whoever these men with guns were are long gone."

"Did they want anything?"

"No, makes me think that they were just doing a joke or they got the wrong bus."

I nodded looking at the group walking towards the road.

"Let's go back to Las Vegas." She said

Grissom walked into his office stopping as he saw me sleeping on his couch. He quietly put some papers on his desk then came over to me. Kneeling down he looked at me smiling faintly as he leaned over kissing my lips gently. When I did not wake he stood touching my hair then got back to work.

Catherine came in stopping as she saw me. Tiptoeing over to Grissom and his desk she set a form down in front of him.

"That's the form I had Greg fill out." She whispered

"Did he give you trouble?"

"No, but he did complain that he should get more money."

"He has to work at it."

"Gil, why don't you let me train him the rest of the way?"

"I want to do it."

"You think I won't do a good job?"

"No, I think you would do an excellent job, but I want to train him because I feel it's an important for a supervisor to do."

"Okay, I have to go it's my night off and I have a date."

"Have a good time."

She smiled walking out. I moved shortly after she left sitting up I looked over at him.

"You should be home warming the bed." He said, as he got done signing a form.

"I will now." I said, yawning as I got up. "See you at home."

"Sara." He called

I turned looking at him.

"You look beautiful." He said, smiling.

"That will get you nowhere." I said, smiling before leaving.

When I woke up Grissom was gone. I assumed someone called him for an important reason. I rolled over looking at the clock on his side seeing that I had one more hour to sleep. My phone woke me half an hour later. I rolled over grabbing my cell phone from the bedside table.

"Sidle." I said, stretching.

"Sara, its Brass. Grissom has had an accident he's at desert palm."

I sat up not able to breathe.

"What…happened?"

"He was shot."

I gasped putting my hand over my mouth. I could hear him yelling my name over the phone.

"Sara?"

"I'm here."

"They need you to come right away."

"Okay, I'll be there."

I don't know how I made it there without having an accident. I walked into the hospital seeing Brass. He talked to me, but I didn't hear him. We walked down a hallway to a waiting room. An hour later a doctor came out to see us.

"Mrs. Grissom?"

"Yes?" I said, standing with Jim's help.

"You'll be happy to know that your husband will be fine."

Brass took a sigh of relief as I moved hugging him.

"The bullet lodged in his side. No vital organs were hit. He is resting in a room now if you want to see him."

I let go of Brass nodding.

"Go on, I will call the others." Brass said

The doctor led me down the hallway to a door on the right. I opened the door hearing the heart monitor. Swallowing, I made my way over to him. His skin was white. An oxygen tube was up his nose. I took hold of his limp hand at his side watching for any sign he would wake up. I could feel my body shaking as I looked down at him. The doctor came in pushing a chair up behind me.

"Sleep is the best thing. You can stay as long as you need." He said, softly.

"Thank you."

He smiled walking out. I slept back in the chair holding my head up with my hand as Grissom came awake. He looked around the room stopping at me.

"Sara?"

I woke with a start seeing him looking at me. I stood taking his hand in mine.

"You're going to be all right."

"I remember getting shot."

"They said that the bullet didn't hit anything."

"Good. You're shaking." He said, looking down at my hand in his.

"I am not used to hearing that my husband has been shot."

"I hope you never hear it again."

I sat on the bed reaching over putting my hand through his salt and pepper curls.

"How long have you been here?"

I looked at my watch.

"Close to four hours."

"You look tired."

"Don't worry about me."

"I can't help it."

He touched my face pulling me over to kiss him. Catherine came in as we were kissing.

"Oh, sorry." She said, trying to block her eyes. I moved from Grissom looking back at her all dressed up.

"Look at you!" I said, as she lowered her arms. She modeled the blue short dress she wore.

"A date."

"Nice."

"I got a call from Brass. Are you all right?" She said, coming over to the bed looking at Grissom.

"Yes. The doctor said I will be fine."

"I am glad. It would not be the same without you."

"I am not going to be able to work for a couple weeks that means your in charge."

"I am on it. Don't worry."

She left with the promise of visiting. Grissom closed his eyes laying back. I watched him feeling his thumb go up and down on my hand.

"Go home." He said

"I want to be here with you. I'll take some vacation time you're always asking me about."

"You mean the time you never take?"

"That would be the one."

He smiled opening his eyes.

"If I leave do you promise to rest and not to get shot again?"

"I think I can promise that."

"Good, I miss you already."

"I miss you."

I kissed him then I got up letting go of his hand leaving. I called Catherine letting her know about my mini vacation so I could stay home and take care of Grissom. The doctor told him that in few days he could go home. I visited him reading from the newest science journal. I helped him in our house the day he left. He went straight to the bed sitting up stiffly as I put pillows behind him and the blankets up on his legs.

"Would you like something to eat?"

"Maybe later."

"What do you want?"

"You to lie here."

I smiled crawling over to the other side lying down.

"Now what?"

"Nothing, just lay there."

He looked at me then he looked around the room. I reached over lifting his shirt to see the white bandage on his side. My fingers grazed the bandage and then moved to his smooth stomach.

"I guess having battle scars impresses people." He said

"It always impressed me. I used to show off the scars on my legs when I was a little girl to the boys."

"Did it make you popular?"

"For a few days." I said, as I moved my hand to his chest.

"You can show me sometime."

"There faded now. I will have to get new ones."

He looked at me.

"I hope you don't have one like the one I have now."

"I won't."

He looked at the blanket covering him.

"I want to lie down."

I sat up helping him move down gently. Then I laid back down looking at him as I laid on my side.

"I thought after your shot you would change." I said, putting my hand on his gray shirt resting it on his stomach.

"How do you mean?"

"Well when people have near death experiences they tend to be have a new outlook."

"I suppose that didn't happen to me."

He moved his head glancing at me.

"You didn't see a light at the end of a tunnel?"

"No. I saw Brass shining a light in my eyes."

I woke up to silence as Grissom slept beside me. I got up making some food then I sat watching the news on the couch. A knock at the front door made me jump. I got up opening it seeing Brass.

"Hey, Sara."

"Hey, come in."

He smiled as I let him in. He carried a bag.

"What do you have?" I asked, as I shut the door.

"I have been holding this since I was shot. It is a bottle of scotch. I thought Gil and I could initiate an I have been shot club."

I smiled looking at the bottle he took out of the bag.

"You might have to drink alone because he's sleeping."

"Want some?"

"Sure." I said "Stay for dinner."

"Have enough?" He asked, following me back to the kitchen.

"Yes." I said, getting two glasses. He opened the bottle pouring some scotch in them. I lifted one glass up chinking it with his then I drank some. He drank some pulling back his arm to look at the glass shaking his head. I coughed putting the glass down on the counter.

"Not bad." He said

"Oh!" I gasped "It goes down hot."

"Trying to get my wife drunk?"

We both turned seeing Grissom standing leaning against the doorway.

"No, I was introducing her to scotch." Brass said "Another Sara?"

"No."

"I'll have some." Grissom said, walking over slowly sitting beside Brass at the counter. Brass put some in my glass giving it to Grissom.

I watched as they drank it making the same face.

"Not bad." Grissom said

After eating they sat on the couch talking as I sat in the chair listening. When Brass left I sat with Grissom on the couch.

Grissom's first day back he was on light duty. That meant that he had to stay in the lab and do paperwork. I spent the day with Greg in garbage looking for pieces of human skin. We walked through the building seeing Nick walking with Catherine.

"You stink!" Nick said, as we passed.

"You would to if you worked in garbage all shift." Greg said

"I don't think we will ever smell good." I said, as I carried a bag of evidence with me.

"What did Grissom say to use?"

"Lemons."

We both looked at Grissom walking past us the opposite direction.

"Thank's." Greg said

I watched my husband hold up a hand in a wave as he glanced back at us. After taking a shower with lemons Greg and I smelled better. We both walked into the morgue where Dave had laid out the chopped up remains on a metal table.

"Where are the bones?" Greg asked

"Probably grinded. I would say a large meat grinder."

"Great." I said

"We have no fingers, no hair." Greg said

"Well if we were Grissom we would take what we have and work with that." I said, looking at the mound of flesh.

"Okay, the body was found at the dump."

"We have to find out what trucks go where."

"Sara, that is like thousands of trucks."

"You have anything else to do?"

Greg groaned looking at Dave. I walked down to Grissom's office smelling my shirt making sure the horrid smell of garbage and flesh was not on me. Catherine sat in a chair talking to him. I knocked and they both looked over seeing me.

"Am I interrupting?"

"No, come in." Grissom said

I walked in sitting in the chair next to Catherine.

"Catherine just told me that Ecklie is putting me on investigation."

"Why?" I asked, looking at Catherine.

"In the rules it specifies that no one that is married can work together." Catherine said

"We have been working together for a while now and it's not hurting anything."

"Sara the rules are the rules." Grissom said, leaning back in his chair.

"I could switch to day shift."

"No." He said

"Grissom, I think Catherine agrees that losing your job over this is not what anyone wants. I think I should switch."

"Ecklie would keep quiet." Catherine said

"He may, but I won't."

"Gil, it's just day shift. You will still see Sara. She could teach all the newbies something."

He took his glasses off wiping his eyes then he looked at us.

"What do you say?" I asked

"You always do what you want."

I knew Grissom was not happy about this. Ecklie quietly put a stop the investigation as I moved to day shift. It was different and not just because of the time. I had worked for years and I was surrounded by newly promoted trainees. Days seemed to be slower and company far different from the banter of the night shift.

I came home seeing Grissom dressed and ready to go out the door. He gave me a quick kiss then left. I sighed walking in to the bedroom. As I returned to the lab night shift was leaving. Grissom read a book behind his desk as if waiting for me. I came in shutting his door turning the light off. He watched me come around the desk. He put his book on the lamp lit desk pulling me down on his lap. His lips invited me to kiss him as he held me close to him.

"I haven't seen you in a while what is new?" He asked

"Nothing, just working."

"Didn't you sleep?" He asked, noticing the dark circles under my eyes.

"No."

"You have been up for two days then?"

"Yes."

"Sara."

"I'll get some rest later."

"Promise me."

"I promise."

"Okay."

The next week a case affected me profoundly. Walking through the halls I felt like tears could fall at any time. Grissom stopped me in the hallway to talk, but I just waved him away leaving. When the only justice was to let the guy off. I just lost it I screamed throwing chairs in the lounge making people run for cover. Grissom walked in seeing people from day shift going past him quickly he heard yelling. Walking slowly towards the lounge he started to walk faster hearing screaming and another chair crashing into a table. He dropped his briefcase as he saw Peterson the day shift supervisor running over from the other hallway seeing Grissom then coming in seeing me.

"Sara, what's going on?" He asked, trying to be calm as he watched me throw something else.

"Scumbags are getting off and there is nothing we can do!"

"Okay I understand, but we just have to let it go."

"Let it go?" I said "What is justice when we just let it go!"

He watched me throw a mug hearing it shatter. Grissom came in watching me. I looked over at him and all I wanted was to cry. Peterson and he watched me sob collapsing on the floor. Grissom came over holding me.

"Let me take you home." He said "Peterson, I want to take Sara home can you wait for Catherine and tell her I will not be in?"

"Sure."

"Come on." Grissom said, pulling me up.

"I can't stay here!" I yelled

"We are going home."

I sobbed against him as he walked me out. He grabbed his case then we went on our way.

I laid in the bed while Grissom smoothed my hair sitting on the bed. I had calmed down feeling safe. He watched me feeling me relax as I stared at the wall across the room. My eyes were still red from the tears I shed.

"Want some tea?" He asked

"No."

I looked at him seeing nothing but concern and love. I reached over touching his leg.

"What did I do?"

"You burnt out. I knew it was coming."

"I don't know how it happened. I worked so hard trying to help this poor woman who died at the hands of her husband and I just lost it."

"You were tired and stressed." He said

"I suppose I should apologize to everyone."

"You just need to sleep." He said, getting up tucking the blanket over me.

"Your leaving?"

"Not the house. I want you to rest. I will be at my desk in the living room."

I watched him go out closing the door. Sleep seemed far out of reach as I lay on my side listening to every little noise. Grissom was like a quiet mouse and the only way I knew he was still there was the occasional sound of his chair wheels making a slight squeak when he moved.

His cell phone went off and I heard him answer. The conversation with the other person was about me and my outburst. I got up opening the door going to the kitchen. He watched me as he talked to the other person. I walked over plopping down on the couch with a glass of water. He hung up looking at me.

"No sleep?"

"No."

I heard his pen fall onto the papers on the desk as he stood up walking over to sit down beside me. His hand went to my shoulder kneading the tense muscles. I put the glass onto the coffee table dropping my head to my chest as he hit the spot.

"Lay down." He said

I laid down putting the pillow under my head. He moved leaning over my back messaging it with expert moves. Towards the end I was so relaxed that sleep held its hand out to me and I took it. He heard me breathe softly knowing that I was asleep. Getting up he got a blanket from the bedroom putting it over me then going back to the desk to work.

The news on the TV was on low as Grissom sat on the other side of the couch. He looked at me still sleeping after two days. Looking back at the news he noticed out of the corner of his eye that I moved under the blanket. I opened my eyes seeing the TV on and that it must be night because the room was darkened. I sat up seeing him sitting there looking at me.

"Shouldn't you be a work?" I asked, touching my messy hair.

"I told Catherine I wasn't coming in tonight."

"Oh, I remember you told Peterson."

"That was two days ago." He said

"Two days ago."

I looked at him confused.

"I have been laying here for two days?"

"Yes."

He got up as I tried to make sense of everything. Grissom came back in with a bowl of meatless stew. I smiled taking it as he leaned over kissing my head. Later I laid against him as we watched TV.

Taking his hand in mine I smoothed the ridges kissing each finger. He looked down at me then at the show we were watching.

"What did you do while I was sleeping?"

"I worked from home and called Catherine."

"She has to be ticked off that you are spending so much time at home?"

"She is not mad. In fact she was worried about you."

"Everyone has to be. I really had a breakdown."

"It happens to everyone."

I took long breath relaxing against his warm body.

Peterson watched me come into his office and sit down in a chair. He sat back in his seat looking at me.

"Do you feel better?"

"Yes, sorry for my behavior."

"That's all right. I was just concerned about you. Grissom said you just needed some time to rest."

"I tend to get to involved with cases dealing with abused women." I said, looking at him.

"Look, I feel the same way, but just because a person gets off doesn't mean he will get off for long. Justice takes some time to happen."

"I know. I just get fed up with the lack of evidence."

"Well from now on if you feel like your about to breakdown I want you to talk to the lab psychologist or me."

"I will." I said, standing smiling.

I went back to work running through cases like they were on a conveyer belt. Grissom found me in the parking lot curb staring at the sky as he arrived. He walked over looking up seeing a airplane high up flying overhead.

"What are you looking for?" He asked, as I continued to stare up.

"I was just thinking about space."

"Oh, are you going home?"

I nodded looking at him. He pulled me to him touching my hair. I closed my eyes pressing my face into his shoulder.

"I want to tell you something." He said

"What?" I asked, moving back looking at him.

"I want to say that this has been a rough year, but I am happy that you were there by my side."

I touched his smooth face feeling my eyes water.

"I am happy to. You're the only person I want to be with."

He pulled me to him kissing me. My hands went through his hair. Nick and Catherine walked over smiling at our display. They cleared their throats watching us move apart to look at them.

"Kissing in public?" Nick said

"That is so disgusting." Catherine said

I smiled as Grissom sighed letting me go.

"It's time to work." He said, motioning them to go in.

"Yes, dad." Nick said, going with Catherine. I smiled watching them turn glancing at us walking to the front doors. Grissom glanced at them shaking his head then he looked at me.

"I'll see you later." I said

He nodded watching me walk across the lot to my car. When I got inside I watched him walk away to the building. Inside I felt the happiness that eluded me much of my adult life. Grissom felt the same way and that was worth the wait.


End file.
